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Mark 10:2 Some Pharisees came, and
to test him they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"
3 He answered them, "What did Moses command you?" 4
They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to
divorce her." 5 But Jesus said to them, "Because of your
hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. 6 But from the
beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 7 'For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8
and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." 10
Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11
He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits
adultery against her; 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries
another, she commits adultery."
We
continue our three-part series on divorce and remarriage this morning. As I
said last week, marriage is a sacred institution that God created at the
beginning of humanity. And though this institution is sacred, it is not so
binding that when things go terribly wrong there is no escape and restitution. But
in order to truly understand Jesus teaching on this subject we must first understand
the culture of his day and events that were transpiring. Why do we focus on
culture? Because everything that happens in the world, including scripture
stories, is in the context of what was going on at the time. We cannot view the
events of the World War II without seeing it in the context of Pearl Harbor. One without the other leaves a story that can
be construed differently. If we deny the unprovoked attack at Pearl
Harbor , then it could be construed that we joined the war effort
for any number of reasons.
Dr. Efird, professor of
Bible Studies at Duke Seminary tells us, “That divorce was permissible and a
part of the accepted practice of the societal community was assumed by the Old
Testament writers.”[1] Every
culture of the ancient and modern world allowed divorce in some fashion. Some had
certain rules to define when and for what reasons divorce may happen, while
others annulled the marriage as if it never happened. “From the study of the
biblical passages it seems clear that it is assumed that there are situations
where “divorce” (if that is the proper word) can and perhaps should be
sanctioned.”[2] In the
case of Adultery, Abuse or Desertion divorce was an acceptable option. In the
Old Testament, everyone was expected to be married, so we can infer from that
when one became divorced that they would remarry. “All peoples in the Roman Empire , regardless of their religious affiliation,
had the right to divorce their spouses. Marriage was considered a private
contract which, like all other contracts, might be dissolved. Divorce was
easily attained and, because the state placed heavy financial burdens upon
single people, remarriage was encouraged.”[3] In
more recent times, we know that the Catholic Church has practiced annulment,
the idea that divorce is allowed for certain reasons, and the annulment erases
the marriage as if it has never happened. The protestant churches have taken a
different view, some taking the view to follow the civil code within their
culture while others have condemned divorce entirely as sinful and wrong. How
the church has treated divorce depends on the prevailing culture of that area,
however, as a rule the church has condemned more than healed! I say sadly
because when we condemn those who have been divorced we do so without regard to
the reasons for divorce and miss the opportunity to bring the healing power of
the church as a positive force in their lives. Personally, my divorce came
after four counselors, much prayer and agonizing consequences. In the end we
cannot force someone to stay in a relationship nor can we prevent the financial
consequences of the breakup of that relationship.
But to understand Jesus
words, we need to understand the things that were going on in his day. There
were several that are important for our discussion of divorce and/ or
remarriage. First, it was accepted in his day that divorce was allowed, but
only for certain reasons. Adultery and abuse were the only acceptable reasons
for divorce. Old Testament law held that adultery was punishable by death but
by the time of Jesus, the death part had been removed. The other was that a man
was responsible for taking care of the needs of his wife as if she were his
only wife in the case of multiple spouses. There was one group called the
Hillel, a sect of the Jewish leadership that believed that a man could divorce
a woman for any reason. A bad meal, growing old or less attractive was
justification for divorce. Another group the Shammai group held that divorce
was allowed only for adultery and abuse as in the Old Law. Meanwhile, Herod had married his brother’s
wife. Historical records indicate that she had never attained a divorce from
her first husband. All of this was going on at the moment that Jesus is asked
the question he is asked. The Pharisee’s wanted him to say the wrong thing so
they could have grounds to punish him. Or they might have wanted to know whose
side he was on. So they ask him this loaded question knowing that the answer
will place him on one side or the other.
Jesus teaches us about
truth, what is right and just and what God wants us to know. We must be careful
with how we interpret Jesus strong words. David Instone-Brewer reminds us, “We
also wouldn’t want to take literally many of Jesus’ words in the other sayings
in this section. We wouldn’t, for example, gouge out our right eye if we
lust when we see a woman.”[4]
There are many New Testament scriptures that focus on the idea of divorce. For
the sake of time I am going to focus on this passage from Mark. When Jesus is
confronted by the Pharisee’s about divorce, several issues are relevant here.
One is the argument between the two groups, the Hillel’s and the Shammai’s that
I have described for you already. The other is the idea that woman are
considered property in Jesus day and have no voice. Jesus reaches out to the
injustice of what is going on in his culture. Dr. Efird says of this passage, “The
response by Jesus does not really speak to the issue of divorce, but it (as
Jesus so often does) goes to the heart of the real issue. The real issue is not
to be preoccupied with how one may legally slip out of a marriage but rather
how one makes a real marriage.”[5]
Jesus is replying as he often does, by telling us what a marriage should look
like. I will talk more on that later. But he is also addressing the idea that
divorce has become rampant in his day, just as it has become in our day. Jesus does
not say that the old law is no longer valid and divorce is now unlawful. Hear
his words! I’m paraphrasing, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of
divorce and it is because of the hardness of your hearts that he wrote this.
Jesus is attacking the issues surrounding divorce, not the idea of divorce. And
then he goes further. He begins to describe for us what God had in mind in the
institution of marriage. That one man and one woman would become one flesh. And
when two people enter into a relationship with that kind of understanding,
divorce is never a possibility. When you enter into a relationship where you
and your spouse become true partners, during the good times and the bad times,
divorce is never an option. Maybe the problem is that our culture has changed
and we have become more like the Hillel sects thinking that we should divorce
for any reason. I will come to verses 11 and 12 in a moment.
Philip
Brown in his “Mistakes to Avoid” when discussing Divorce and Remarriage says, “Malachi
2:14‐16 teaches us that God
regards wrongful divorce as a sin of treachery against one’s wife and against Himself.
Although God hates wrongful divorce, He neither hates all divorces in the same
way nor hates every aspect of divorce. He hates what occasions every divorce.
He hates the results that often flow to children and to the injured parties of
divorce. And God hates divorces wrongly obtained on grounds that He has not
permitted. Jesus’ comments on divorce reinforce this conclusion. He
specifically recognized it as constituting a change from God’s original plan:
“but from the beginning it was not so,” and then it was only because of
hardness of heart that the Holy Spirit through Moses allowed divorce (Mat.
19:8).”[6]
So what have we learned
so far? In the Old Testament and the New Testament, the idea of divorce was part
of the culture of the day and an accepted practice; however it was never the desired
or recommended outcome. Most cultural understanding about divorce is that even
though divorce is recognized as having some legitimacy, it is only typically in
the context of adultery or abuse that it is an acceptable practice. And then
only when reconciliation is not possible. And God’s intention is that people
live in the institution of marriage for a lifetime. Remarriage after divorce
was not only accepted, but was expected in the context of society. So what does
Jesus mean in verse 11 and 12? He says that when a man divorces his wife and
marries another he commits adultery against her. And when she marries she also
commits adultery.
So do we take this to
mean that second marriages are one where we live in constant sinful states from
which there is no forgiveness? In order to understand this saying of Jesus, we
need to go back to the Greek. His use of tense is important so stay with me for
a moment. The word "divorces" is in the past tense, while the word
"commits" is in the present tense. The single sexual act creates
adultery. And that is sinful since the original intent for all marriages is one
man and one woman. But the new marriage in the eyes of God is valid and “… it
is clear that a divorce opens up the possibility of remarriage to a third party
(Deut. 24:2). If divorce did not open the possibility of remarriage, we would
expect Moses to prohibit it. If a remarriage to a third party does occur, the
new marriage is not regarded as adulterous or the equivalent of adultery. From
God’s point of view, it is a true marriage.”[7] In
other words, divorce is not an unforgivable sin from which there is no
restitution. And so as a church our task is to bring healing during these times
of emotional trauma to the parties involved.
I’m running out of time
so let me summarize a bit and then finish this discussion next week. God set
marriage as a sacred institution to be held in the highest of understandings
and to be for a lifetime. Because of our sinful natures, we fail in marriage
just as we fail in other ways to be obedience to God. And there are accepted
grounds for divorce, even in God’s eyes. They are adultery and abuse. We have
expanded them in our modern day to include desertion, only because desertion
constitutes abuse under the old law where a man is required to provide for his
family and desertion is a violation of that law. When divorce happens,
remarriage is allowed, acceptable and expected since God wants us in
partnership. Next week I will talk about Paul and about God’s ideal of
marriage.
[1] Efird, James M., Marriage and Divorce, Wipf
and Stock Publishers, Eugene ,
Ore
[2] Efird, Pg 87
[3] Harrell, Pat Edwin, Divorce and Remarriage in the
Early Church, R. B. Sweet, Austin, TX, 1967, pg 173
[4] Instone-Brewer, David, pg 29
[5] Efird, pg 48
[6] Brown, A. Philip II, “Mistakes to Avoid when
Discussing Divorce and Remarriage,” Aldersgate Forum, October 22, 2008, pg 7
[7] Brown, A. Philip II, “Mistakes to Avoid when
Discussing Divorce and Remarriage,” Aldersgate Forum, October 22, 2008, pg 11
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